I JUST WANT TO BE BEAUTIFUL - WHY CAN'T IT HAPPEN FOR ME? (10 PTS)!!!!!?

I'm 17 & have very low self-esteem. I've never had a bf, never been on a date, never been kissed, nothing. Whenever I like a guy & try to show him, he thinks I'm creepy & runs (metaphorically). 1 guy who I asked to prom (btw went in a group by myself, asked 20 guys, none would go) he pointed out all my flaws in a txt to me. I don't want a pep tlk or you to tell me "I'm sure you're gorgeous" or "you're perfect the way you are" I'm not. I hate reading questions where girls say they are ugly but they say their bf says they're gorgeous. Yeah THEIR BF. So they have a bf so obviously they aren't. I finally met a guy online (he's safe, I have friends who personally know him) & we both like each other but we're going to different colleges freshman yr & he's participating in a program sorta like academic probation for the first yr & then switching to my college. He sorta wants a summer fling like to mess around or he said we could wait a yr & date when he comes to my school. Idk...I'm just sad. I thought this summer I was finally going to have a bf & get everything I've been praying for & dreaming of but obviously I'm not. Tips for me? Can you tell me how to look like Taylor Swift or Lakynn McBride? Even though I'm sure they have flaws, I can't find a single one in them. Just plz help me. Thx!!