God. shoul we divorce?

y wife has been going over to my neighbors house with a bag of feces and french onion dip. My neighbors are notorious Nicuargian Doo-Doo smugglers. I'm afraid that my wife is in cahoots with them. They been making Fecal statues,Doo-Doo chipped cookies,Butt stank doritos and coca cola with buttdust sprinkled on the cap. I love my wife and her (Badonk a Donk) but I will call the cops on her if she sells Doo-Doo out the trunk of the car. And I will make sure she eats no more KFC gravy or Fiber if she continuse to do so. She even covered my cheese MaMich in feces. It made my face break out.She gave me salamanala too. When will this nightmare end